The sufferings of this present time are not worthy
to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
–Romans 8:18
Maybe you’re going through a nasty breakup right now—or you can call up a time you went through one.
When you go through the kind of excruciating heartbreak (as most of us have) that brings you to your knees, you have a couple of choices. You can jump back right into your little black dress and into someone new’s arms—blotting out the pain and skipping the healing part completely. Or…. You can hit the pause button and become aware that God is present in every single anguishing moment of it— the anger, the blame, the forgiveness. There’s a reason for all of it.
Believe me, we are all human… I can see why taking refuge in shiny, new relationships, is tempting. Healing is not for the weak. Purpose is not for the lazy.
When I went through a difficult breakup a few years ago I decided to stop, get still and listen. I knew I needed to recenter & R.E.S.T. And by that, I mean Release Every Sabotaging Thought.
So I took a whole year to be still. I invested inward. I listened. I listened to messages from Heaven, I read about a dozen books on personal and spiritual development. I got clear about my goals and I focused forward. I didn’t rush it – I committed to work through it.
So how can you turn your break-up into purpose-filled breakthrough?
1. Choose Healing.
The bravest thing you can do is CHOOSE to heal and to make that a proactive process. You choose to allow BAD to stand for Broken Angry & Defeated … or you can embrace your breakthrough and see yourself as Blessed And Determined. It’s a choice.
2. Shift Your Focus
A break-up, like most experiences is about something much bigger than you anyway. God is probably trying to usher you into a new place and allow you to help more people. Yes, you! What can you learn from you circumstances that will help you and help others?
There is purpose waiting to emerge from a place of pain. Pain is never intended to be permanent.
3. Ask God the Right Questions
Stop asking the small question: “God, what do you want me to DO?” He rarely answers that question. Instead start asking the big one: “God, who do want me to BECOME?” That one takes courage and will require ACTION and spiritual maturity. The calling I ended up discovering was a lot bigger than anything I could have dreamed up. I never would have gotten it if I hadn’t paused and shifted the focus from self to divine service.
So what do bad breakups and divine purpose have in common?
People rush through both—they don’t stop and listen for God. And, BELIEVE me, if you’re in a messed up situation and you don’t deal with it, you’re only going to mess up the next situation. When you rush into the next relationship, you’re actually saying to God, “I can’t be used for your highest purpose because I’m not willing to go thru the process. I want what’s easy—not what’s divine. What’s divine takes time.”
So… if you are in that post-breakup place, know that everything you’re going through did not happen to you….it happened for you. For your purpose. So stop. Listen. REST. And, focus forward by focusing on your purpose.
And remember that in this season, A-L-L things are possible. You have been called for such a time as this.
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE?
Please feel free to do so. Just include this complete blurb with today’s article:
Marshawn Evans is a Global Mentor and Catalyst for Women looking to Launch Their Dreams and Live Their Purpose. She equips others to AMPLIFY their lives, their leadership and their legacy by teaching the principles of influence, branding, and divine purpose. Her weekly eZine goes out to thousands of subscribers. Are you ready to unleash your brilliance and align with your REAL destiny? Sign up for a FREE subscription at http://marshawnevans.com.

















Comments
Sandra
on November 21, 2012, 10:30 am
Amazing!!! I will pause, listen and become that person that God wants me to become!!! Thank you so much ME!!! xoxox
NeeshesPeices
on November 21, 2012, 11:03 am
Wow. Thanks Marshawn for posting this. I’m smack dab in the middle of this. 3 mons post breakup and it hasn’t been easy. My first one. And it’s kinda hard. But you just helped me to realize that I don’t have to be a superwoman and be over it in 3 months! It was about 5 yrs of a relationship. So I thank u for this. I started doing all the things u were doing. Tons of reading and praying. Then I stopped because I felt like I was being a wimp and thought I should just hurry up and get over it and be like men usually are. But I think when u take your destiny in your destiny into consideration you realize it’s important to pour back into yourself to be who God called you to be to really heal you and put you back on top. He is my source. Thanks. I feel empowered.
Nikki
on November 21, 2012, 2:12 pm
Marshawn,
Thank you for your deliverance of on-time messages. Thank you for your positive, motiviting, enthusiastic professional advice and guidance. Also thank you for your AMAZING book “Skirts in the Boardroom”. I’m thankful for all things that you share with those of us that seek personal and professional change, growth, success and subsistence.
Tasha
on January 31, 2013, 8:06 pm
I can only say that God speaks through you. I went through a bad breakup almost a year ago. It was from that time that I discovered my purpose. At the time it felt like I was going to die, but now I can see the bigger picture. Your article is right on time. Every time I try to down play it and think ‘no one needs to hear what I have to say’ God just keep nudging me forward. My website is due to launch 2-14-13 and I can’t wait to see what is in store! Thanks again, Marshawn!